The 3rd Annual Film Fun Awards were held on Sunday, March 4th at NAVEL in downtown Los Angeles, California. They premiered directly opposite the 90th Academy Awards, which were being held at some theater just several miles away. Because Film Fun chooses not to release official viewership information, it isn’t clear how the audiences for the two events stacked up to one another. However, it doesn’t seem like a lot of people watched the Oscars.
Before the show, guests gathered at their assigned tables with glasses of white wine and discussed the movies of 2017, stopping to partake in a light snack of unconsecrated communion wafers. Once again, the ceremony formally began with a highlight reel of previous Best Picture winners, including Wild Things, The Holiday, Prometheus and The Passion of the Christ, and a heartfelt welcome from Film Fun co-founders Keaton Ventura and Mike Spreter.
As the awards shit got underway, It seemed to be in a strong position, racking up early wins for Best Runtime (at 135 minutes, the longest winner in its category since The Holiday), Best Lead-Up to a Movie, and Best Box Office—the latter two always known as strong predictors of Film Fun’s top prize. The Holiday upset perennial winner Titanic for Best Movie Not From 2015, riding the coattails of director Nancy Meyers, who was earlier chosen to receive one of the night’s most special honors: Best Lifetime.
Two very un-Film Fun flicks, Dunkirk and Get On Out, scored their first and last wins of the night for Best Brilliance and Best Oscar, respectively. The less said about that the better. And the less thought about T2: Trainspotting, the future: it won Best Movie No One Has an Opinion About, a surefire sign that it’s well on its way to never being seen or heard from again.
No eyes were on Best Visuals this year, which featured an especially inscrutable lineup of nominees, and an even stranger winner: Alien: Covenant. Personal Shopper received its first win of the night for Best Sounds, with some speculating that it was essentially a reward for Kristen Stewart’s trademark gravelly mumble. Murder on the Orient Express took home the trophy for Best Other Language Film, appropriate considering it became the first film in need of subtitles since Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon to pass $100 million at the domestic box office.
Elsewhere, The Strand Theatre of Old Forge, recently profiled on Film Fun, became the first to win back-to-back statuettes for Best Theatre, repping a strong showing for upstate New York against competitors from Los Angeles, Calgary and Daddy’s Home 2. Meryl Streep—never a nominee in Film Fun’s acting categories, despite having a record 20 Oscar nominations—scooped up her first-ever win for Birds, while The Post also took home the prize for Worst Talking, following in Fences’ footsteps.
In the supporting categories, Fences alum Stephen McKinley Henderson beat out some very brief competition to win Best Supporting Actor, and breakout star Tiffany Haddish gave Girls Trip its second win of the night for Best Supporting Actress, following an earlier win for Most Purge-Like. Whispers from the pundits even indicated that Girls Trip might be on its way to a Best Picture upset.
Timothée Chalamet then took home Best Actor for his work in Call Me By Your Name. It was the third time in a row the Best Actor honor went to one half of a homoerotic onscreen duo, following Vin Diesel (opposite Paul Walker in Furious 7) and Tom Hanks (opposite Aaron Eckhart in Sully). With boys now on the side, the lights dimmed for a video segment celebrating the mothers and daughters of Film Fun.
From then on, the night belonged to Girls. A low rumble that had begun earlier in the evening—all the way north in Sacramento, where locals were gathered and cheering at Greta Gerwig’s alma mater St. Francis High School—rippled down to the Film Fun awards, cracking the pavement outside and nearly delaying the pizza delivery. Greta Gerwig and Lady Bird won for both Best Script and Best Director, making her the first woman to take home the Directing prize since Shana Feste (Endless Love, 2015). Gerwig’s win was made particularly special because it was announced by Keaton’s mother, Bridget Flower, video conferencing in from upstate New York. And while the Oscars continued to disappoint America, from upstate to Sacramento and everywhere in between, a frontrunner had materialized in the dawn’s early light, its name echoing in the empty communion wafer bowls. Lady Bird won Best Picture.
But it wasn’t Twilight’s last gleaming, for Best Actress, the most important award at any Film Fun ceremony, had yet to be handed down. The crown was still Emma Stone’s—if only for a moment. For this special occasion, a Film Fun academy member dressed as Lady Bird herself graced the podium and recited the names of every Best Actress winner in Film Fun history: from Naomi Watts in The Ring to Jennifer Lopez in The Back-Up Plan; from Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me to Angela Bassett in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. The audience’s minds now reeling with greatness, it could only feel like fate as Kristen Stewart’s name was called for Personal Shopper. Stewart had been nominated a record 8 times and never won. Finally, on a quiet March evening surrounded by the ones who loved her most, she was called home.
Congratulations, Kristen and all our winners! We’ll see you next year, when The First Purge attempts to take back the throne.
For a full transcript of the event, please click here.
We’ll see you at the movies.